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Tis the season of back to school. That fresh nostalgic air. Brand new runners and clothes. Parents drinking mimosas in memes across social media. Then there’s us, the newbies.
Why didn’t I treat yesterday like the last little day that we would have that time for ourselves? When the younger two boys were napping I could have really looked at him and cherished that day knowing that the next day he would be walking on to that school bus and he would be gone for the whole day every week day. Those thoughts crossed my mind – somewhere in that get into bed and stress about the day that just happened and the day to come. The time where you analyze yourself as a parent and ask yourself that question– did I do enough? I just threw lunch together, I looked at my phone too much, I didn’t sit on the floor and play enough, I lost my temper, I yelled, I rolled my eyes – tomorrow I’ll be better, tomorrow I’ll be more present.
This morning I was up hours before the alarm I set – I don’t think I slept much at all. How are we already at this day? My oldest son is going to Kindergarten and he’s the one ready, not me. I know you cried too – even if you won’t admit it. This is definitely a right of passage. For a minute after the bus drove away I thought I wouldn’t cry, then I panicked that that was one more thing I was going to fail at as a parent. Then the pit in my stomach rose, my chest burned and the tears came. I had to pull myself together for the younger two boys though, so into the bottle those emotions went. We’ll pop the cork off that bottle another time.
We saw the bus coming down the road as we stood at the end of the driveway and his face lit up. He’s extremely excited, we’ve been building up this moment for months. He’s going to have a blast, let’s be honest, kindergarten is amazeballs. Wouldn’t you like to go back to the days of sand tables, puppet shows, and most importantly, being praised for napping? Yes please.
I can’t wait to badger him about his day – but then my mind turns back to that article I read a couple weeks ago – something along the lines of Pro Tips on Transitioning to Kindergarten. The part that stuck with me explained how they will be exhausted and will need a minute to turn off their brain when they get home and decompress. Life lessons already – I sure don’t want to be talked to, asked anything, looked at… when I either first wake up or first walk in the door from work.
So he’s off. Two coffees in, the baby is napping, the two year old is watching Curious George and building a camper out of Duplo. My oldest is most likely having the time of his life with his new friends. Our little family is growing up and life is good. Our new normal starts today. Until I go back to work…but that’s another chapter.
How did you handle the first day?
My boys are in 6th & 8th grade & I still cry every first day of school so I can totally relate!!
Thank you, I’m glad you can relate! I’m not glad that you’re letting on it doesn’t get easier! haha 🙂
This hits so close to home, I’m glad I am not the only one that felt this way. My kids already in 2nd grade and I still feel the same. He will always be my little baby.
It’s good to know this is a common feeling and others can relate 🙂 Thank you
I definitely can relate to this. Our daughter started Kindergarten his year as well. On her first day September 5th, I remember I didn’t do anything whole day because my thoughts were on her. I was thinking all the time hope she is ok, hope she eat and I was watching the clock for the time for her to return. That day just seemed particularly long. Thanks for sharing!
Yes! Thank you! That’s exactly how my day was too; did I pack enough lunch? Does he remember his bus number? Is he okay? Am I okay?! Lol
Today is our eldest’s first day too. It’s definitely bittersweet: they’re growing up but also no longer our babies <3 Ah, motherhood is full of paradox!
They will always be our babies! I tell that to my kids all the time; ‘even when you’re taller than me and have your own babies, you will always be my baby’. Good luck with first day of school!
I have some time before this day creeps up on me as my son is only nine months old. But I sympathize with you! I know it will be such a hard day for me when he goes off to kindergarten. He won’t know how much I’ll worry about him or how much I’ll wish I could be there experiencing all his firsts with him. It’s such a big day! Congrats to you for getting through it!????
His excitement about each day helps a lot. Thank you!
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